Random African Proverb

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Hair Molestion

I mentioned this in the last post. I addressed it from the point of HIHD. However, I was reminded today by a client about being HM or hair molested by others. Let me preface this by saying that I am REALLY old timey about people touching my hair. I HATE IT!!! It is just too personal. Now I don't mean people that are close to me, like my husband, but that is about it. Have you ever experienced HM by a perfect stranger? Do people feel like it is okay to just walk up and fondle your hair? If so please share with the group.

I was in church once and this girl kept walking up behind me flipping my hair. The first time I just told her to stop. The second time I explained to her that since she wasn't the one lying next to me when I woke up that morning that she didn't have the right to touch my hair. The third time...oh the third time...I yelled "stop it" and told her what I would do if she didn't. I am not saying that the latter was Christ-like behavior, but you have to draw a line somewhere. If you have experienced HM we are here to help. For further assistance please call
1-888-4HM-STOP. If you call, we can help. PS, this is just a joke for those of you who may have missed it. Oh, and I even added pics this time. I wanted y'all to see how my freeforming is coming. I am coming out of my shell, because I love y'all.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

HIHD

Hand in hair disorder can be very serious for sufferers, especially lock wearers in some sort of transition. HIHD is a serious disorder in which the individual has trouble keeping their hands out of there hair. It may also be commonly known as hair molestation. In most cases of afro wearer it is mostly harmless, but it can be a more serious issue for those wearing locks. In the case of lock wearers it may actually slow the locking process. The process is often slowed by tugging at buds, over styling, and twisting to often. It can cause major frustration in a couple of ways.

  1. After wearing traditional hairstyles in which constant maintenance is required, locking causes the wearer to have to reshape their normal behavior.
  2. Allowing hair to go through often unpredictable changes can be a challenge in a society where we like to control everything.
  3. Due to the stigmas that are still very prominent in this society, some may feel the compulsion to constantly twist and sometimes over twist edges.

In many cases the sufferer may have a flare up during the teenage stage of locking, when switching from latching to palmrolling or the reverse, and also when changing from traditional to free form or organic locks. I hope that this will be of some help to those that are suffering from HIHD or know someone who is. It is also my hope that this will be read with sense of humor and not taken seriously in the least. Live. Love. Laugh.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

People's Opinions of MY hair

Recently I decided to stop twisting or maintaining my hair. I can hear some of you gasping with disbelief. Yes, it's true. My soul's desire is the be a freeformer. I have shared some of this with clients to "warn" them of my decision so that they don't start to ask me if I am okay. Why did I decide to do this you ask? Well, it started in kind of a strange way. I used to latch my hair. I fell in love with Bob Marley and loved the freedom that was expressed through untamed locks. I liked it because I seemed to be an expression of letting God do His work. I decided that I would start palmrolling to allow myself the freedom to have the maintained look if I wanted it or to have a freeform look if I wanted that. When I wore them palmrolled, I still felt really restricted. I decided to just leave it alone. That didn't last long, because I felt very comfortable at home, but self conscious in public because of what "they" were saying. I hated the feeling of leading two different lives. I want to say this. My locks are part of a spiritual awakening for me. It's not a hairstyle. I don't fully understand the fullness of the purpose, but I love the not knowing and allowing my hair to just do it's thing. So anyway, this journey is uncomfortable for me in one way because I don't know what my hair is going to do. In another way, I know that I have to grasp this lesson in it's completeness. I see myself with locks that are full, wild, and free. Just like me. It just seems more appropriate for my personality to be freeform.
Since locks have become mainstream and legally untouchable in the work place, school, etc. everyone has an opinion of what they "should" look like. Well, I started doing this before they were an "in style" way of expressing yourself. When I moved back to Charlotte no one was really wearing them, except some people who seemed to appear from nowhere at the various Afrocentric festivals.

I don't think that the people that are telling me that my hair needs to be neat don't have a deeply abiding love for locks. I have never seen locks that I couldn't see the beauty in. As long as they are clean, I'm good. They can be fat, skinny, short, long, or mohawked and they are beautiful. I didn't start locking for style, so I don't have to follow the rules of "fashion or acceptability". This is a lifestyle for me. I love my rebellious kinky hair. It doesn't like to lay down and be obedient just because somebody deemed it should be so. If you think that being neat is the only way for locks to look, then perhaps you should ask yourself a couple of questions. Are you just mimicking the Eurocentric ideal of beauty, while retaining your Afrocentric street credit? Did you simply lock, so that you could have long hair like the women on television? Nothing is wrong with your nice neat locks, but nothing is wrong with my untameable locks either. If I can't be tamed, then why should my hair be beat into submission? I guess I really am my hair. Oh by the way these pictures were taken pre-freeform.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

I am my hair!

I was lovin' India Arie until she made the song "I am not my hair". I still love her, but that was a little mainstream for me. I tried to get down with the lyrics, but no matter how I tried I just couldn't say the words. Yes, I am so much more than just hair, but I am my hair. I am my hair because history teaches me that it is the one thing that sets me apart from other races and people...it is special. My hair is an ornament of power and beauty. If unlocked it defies gravity. Some cultures say that locks are an antennae to God. Ascetics or holy people are often known simply because the wear the locks upon their heads. If it weren't important the bible would not speak of it. It's what I cover when God takes me through certain times in my life. I covered my hair from the day that my husband asked me to marry him until the day we got married. In many ways it is the way I am identified. It is a statement of my African heritage, my political stance, and my lesson in giving God control. It was the first thing that was taken when we were stolen and even used to torture the Rasta people. I am my hair and so much more, but I am my hair. Does this mean that we shouldn't love one another regardless of the exterior, no. I simply means that we are all special in our special way. I means that I don't have to assimilate to be loved or to love. I am so much more, but I am my hair.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I got tagged

I got tagged by happilynappilynish The rules are, you must list 6 non important,quirky,crazy things about yourself.You must also show the link of the person who tagged you.

  1. I am a germaphobe and I won't eat people's cooking until I know their hand washing habits.
  2. I still daydream at the age of 31 and will never stop.
  3. I love walk around in the rain like a kid and I don't own an umbrella.
  4. I don't own a watch and don't want one.
  5. I only eat even numbers of things like M&Ms and cookies, but if it is an Oreo it can count as 2 cookies if necessary.
  6. I love to to look at my husband and children when they don't know I am watching to catch those candid moments in my mind and heart forever.
I am new so I will tag some folks later, plus I have 2 other blogs that I have to update. LOL

My freeform spirit

To update, I have joined locks together for a thicker look. I have changed from latching to palmrolling. I palmrolled them a few days ago, prior to that I latched a couple of weeks ago. I hated that latch so I took them loose. I hate the palmroll, but I am trying to leave it alone. I just don't like the feel. It makes me feel bound in some way. I feel like I am supposed to have nice neat locks, but I hate it when they are neat. When my roots are thick with no parts showing, I feel beautiful and free. The only problem is that then I become aware of what they think. You know the "they", the invisible people that we all know are there lurking with there stupid opinions. Anyway, just as my walk with Christ is deepening in ways I couldn't imagine I guess my hair, in a way, is reflecting that. I am getting more and more free in God and learning to just do what the word says and forget about the other stuff, same with my hair just letting it be what it is. It sounds easy, but man is it hard. It seems He never gives me the easy way out. The freedom, for my hair and spirit, is on the other side of peoples opinions. So I guess that once I get past people's opinions in both areas I will be as free as the wind. Thanks for "listening".